I don’t blame my body for sometimes waking up after wanting to puke. I honestly am not following a good Nutrition plan. Yesterday, I ate 3 fish tacos at Baja Fresh, a diet coke, and some Guacamole. That’s it. The whole day. Oh, and around 10pm my mom made me a ham sandwich. But that’s not a good nutritious meal. So its no wonder that after eating so little, and taking so many meds, this morning I woke up wanting to puke. The solution? More meds, unfortunately. Took an Alka-Seltzer, and thankfully that calmed my stomach down a bit. Then a chicken noodle soup. Then my first batch of pills. Feeling better now, but not 100% completely healthy. about 90% perhaps. My stomach is still feeling a little hot and heavy. My nephew is here today, which is nice, but at 4pm the other kids we take care of arrive. Lets see which of the 3 kids stay. The crazy, rebel and sometimes psychotic 14 year old, (and I say that because she’s told me that sometimes she just wants to hit something or someone until she sees blood. What 14 year old girl has those thoughts? Seriously, this girl needs help, and despite me trying to help her and having a Psychology course under my belt, she needs more help than I can give her.) Or perhaps we get the 12 year old brother, who is on his way to living the whole “Emo” lifestyle before he gets to high school, who rarely says anything, but is on his phone for the entire afternoon and night. Oh, and who for some reason follows me around, even when I want to be alone and go to my room and close the door. He ignores the door and walks right in. and then there’s the 9 year old sister, who has problems reading, but in all honesty, I think she’s just LAZY and doesn’t want to make her brain work. She knows that if she shrugs and gives you the “I’m dumb” look, everyone will go, “Awww” and give her the answer or give her what she wants, or feel sympathy for her and pat her on the back. But I can see the glint in her eyes and know that she’s smarter than she lets everyone else think. She’s used to getting all the answers because of her “mental problems”, but the only mental problem she has is that she’s literally too lazy to use her brain. She needs a good smack on the side of the head and to be punished for not trying hard enough. I bet you then she would become champion of a national spelling bee. But since no one does this to her, she plays the “I’m stupid” card all the time, and everyone believes her. But I’ve been trying to teach her how to play the piano for months now, and I know she can read. She just hates doing it. Would I ever say all this to her or her parents? No. I have to keep a smile on my face and try to work with them. But I do know that I don’t like wasting my time with kids who don’t really want to learn how to play the piano, even if I’m getting paid for it, so I’m going to tell her parents soon that she needs to get better with her reading “problems” before she can learn how to play the piano. I feel bad taking their money and just having her waste my time. I’m sorry, I don’t do that.

See how I said I wouldn’t be using any filters in all of my blogs? Told you so. Tomorrow I have my long awaited appointment with the DMV. Lets hope it all goes well. I’ve also reconnected with an old friend and student of mine from years and years ago recently. Its like, we find each other online or at an event or something, and we’re like, OMG, we need to chat or talk or get together….. then 2 years pass and we don’t hear from each other until we bump into each other at some other event, and we say the same thing, and again, 2 or 3 years pass and we don’t talk. Anyway, I think we finally broke the cycle this time around, since we’ve been chatting away and talking every day. He’s looking for a job, and I’m trying to help him find one. I know how he must feel like, because I’ve been in that same situation, and he doesn’t deserve to be in that situation. When he was my student, a long, long time ago, he was a really sweet guy, and I remember wishing I knew more people like him. Genuine, sincere, nice people like him. But I think there’s only one of them in the world, and at least we get to chat once every 2 or 3 years. But then again, I think the cycle is broken now, since we are chatting more. And the funny thing is that despite not keeping a constant connection with him over the years, I feel I can trust him completely, and I think he feels the same way about me. Like I told him the other day, It takes time for me to actually trust someone, but with him, despite the years when we don’t talk, I trust him as if we’ve known each other since kindergarten. I like that, and because of that, I don’t want to lose contact again, and not speak for another 3 years. I’m going to try to keep the conversation going, because he’s actually a great friend to have, and we have a lot in common, and if he needs help and needs someone to lean on, I’m happy to be there for him to lean on me, and If I need someone to lean on, I’m sure he’d be there as well. (Although I probably wouldn’t be able to lean on him too much, him being the shape of a spaghetti pasta, and me being the shape of a rigatoni pasta)

Anyway, I hope he’s able to find a job soon. And as for me, I’m going to go look over the DMV test book, just in case they make me take a written test again.

Its 2:21pm…. My nephew doesn’t seem to want to go to sleep, and two of the 3 kids we take care of in the afternoon are 2 hours away from arriving. Lets see who we get this evening…. Psycho Girl, Emo Dude, or Lazy Brain. And again, I would never, ever, ever say this to them, because I don’t like offending people, (and who knows what Psycho Girl might do… she’s 14 but weighs almost 200 pounds…. this girl could hurt me. LOL) and just because I’m calling them this here and in person doesn’t mean I’m two faced. This blog was created for me to just let all my thoughts out, with no filters. And that’s what I’m doing. Kind of what I do when I go see my Counselor, Darlene. Only with her, I only get half an hour to talk, and I’m not even half way done talking to her when she stops me and says time is up. That doesn’t help. Lets see if this blog helps me more.

And to the man upstairs, God, If I say something on here that I shouldn’t say, please forgive me. Id rather write it down, than saying it out loud or thinking it. I think its the lesser of two evils, and my God is a God of UNCONDITONAL LOVE, and I will try to follow in his steps and do the same. But I don’t think it hurts to just let your self write what you think, without filters, once in a while. If its going to keep me from stressing out or taking a stress pill, then why not? Maybe its a solution.

Hasta la vista, baby!


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